Who is to blame?

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When the pain of the affair hits you, there are often questions about why and who to blame. Finding out who or what to blame may help you find a target for your wrath and pain, but does little to fix the problem. Knowing what went wrong or who did wrong does little to change matters.

Looking deeper into what motivated them to do what they did does take you in the right direction. Blaming is often of limited use, while problem solving is tremendously useful. You will need to problem solve rather than blame. Blaming only takes away some of the immediate pain, while problem solving starts fixing the problem.

Not all problems are ‘fixable’. There will always be some aspect that can be improved upon. Knowing what these are is helpful. There is also a point where your attempts to fix things may be more trouble than they are worth. What you do have to decide is how far are you willing to go? Where do you draw the line? Such questions are hard to answer, but are necessary.

So the next time you go looking for who to blame, consider instead “What will blaming accomplish?” or “How will blaming help the situation?” Granted, it may not be as much fun, but it will be more productive. You are already stressed out, you do not need more hassles than you already have to deal with.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

If you want more direction and answers, my webinar “Sure Fire Secrets to Surviving Your Partners Affair” will remedy that.

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